Ladies and gentlemen (and especially ladies), welcome to the Sports Kabob, a skewered look at the world of sports and pop culture.
Here are the top stories:
Two sources who recruit for Mississippi State said that Cecil Newton and his son, quarterback Cam Newton, said in separate phone conversations that his college choice would be part of a pay-for-play plan while Newton was being recruited late last year.
It should also be pointed out that Cam's real last name is Jackson, and he only changed it after accepting sponsorship money from Fig Newtons.
Surprisingly, Derek Jeter was awarded his 5th Gold Glove this week by Major League Baseball.
Unfortunately, Jeter was unable to receive the award because it was thrown three feet to the left of him.
New York Yankees general manager Brian Cashman met with Cliff Lee, his family and his agent in Arkansas on Wednesday to start persuading the team's No. 1 target that he should come to the Bronx.
Cashman said it will take a lot of convincing to get Lee to spurn his current team the Rangers, since people from Arkansas are very loyal. So loyal in fact that many of them don't even leave their family to find a spouse.
Former NBA star Allen Iverson arrived in Istanbul on Monday to begin a stint with Turkish club Besiktas, promising to give fans "something they haven't seen before."
He is of course referring to deodorant.
The NFL has decided against imposing any fines after investigating complaints by the Miami Dolphins that Baltimore fullback Le'Ron McClain spit in the face of linebacker Channing Crowder.
Oddly enough the NFL did request that next time McClain spits in someone face, he should wear a leather corset and vinyl boots.
Rumors have popped up around the Internet and in print over the past few weeks that the Phoenix Suns may be considering the possibility of trading star point guard Steve Nash. Both head coach Alvin Gentry and Nash himself denied these reports.
Apparently trade talks with Nash were going good for a while and got everyone excited, but ultimately ended before they were a complete success.
According to a source close to the situation, six anonymous Vikings players have said they want head coach Brad Childress fired.
And though anonymous right now, they will be identified as soon as the texted quotes and accompanying penis pictures are matched up to the corresponding player.
Hendrick Motorsports announced on Monday that Jeff Gordon and Jimmy Johnson will switch pit crews for the final races of the Sprint Cup season.
This is the most high profile swap by athletes since Mike Kekich and Fritz Peterson in 1973.
Miami Dolphins coach Tony Sparano announced a change in QB Wednesday, pulling the plug on the Chad Henne experiment in favor of the 34-year-old Chad Pennington.
Experts say this is the biggest news regarding Chads in Florida since the 2000 election.
That's all for this week, leave comments, follow me on Twitter and remember this is Jarrett Carlen saying that now that Kurt Warner has been voted of Dancing with the Stars, the show only has 2 competitors that could start at QB for the Cards.
For more of my observations on the world of sports, as well as politics, entertainment and current events, follow me on twitter @JarrettGC.