Ladies and gentlemen (and especially ladies), welcome to the Sports Kabob, a skewered look at the world of sports and pop culture.
Here are the top stories:
A Radio DJ in Cleveland hired a witch doctor to put a curse on LeBron James
"Hey, a job's a job," said Christine O'Donnell.
The Arizona Cardinals lost to the Seattle Seahawks on Sunday and quarterback Max Hall was knocked out of the game with a concussion.
After the head injury, Hall was so woozy, disoriented, and disheveled that he was immediately hired to play John Cryer's brother on Two and a Half Men.
Tony Romo hurt is collar bone in a loss to the Giants Monday night, and could possibly miss the remainder of the season.
Romo said the last time his neck hurt this bad was when he watched Jessica Simpson go back and forth along a buffet table.
The NBA draft is moving from New York City to Newark, a person familiar with the plans tells The Associated Press.
While the draft will not change in format, experts say it will be noticeably smellier.
Willie Mays and Willie McCovey are among six Giants Hall of Famers who will throw out ceremonial first pitches before the World Series opener in San Francisco.
Also, the Giants will honor Barry Bonds by using his old baseball cap to cover the stadium in case of rain.
The NFL is continuing their investigation into whether Brett Favre sent sexually explicit pictures of himself to a woman.
Apparently Brett Favre's texts bring new meaning to the phrase "junk mail."
The Lakers received their championship rings in a ceremony at Staples Center opening night.
It was the most impressive presentation of a valuable ring in LA since Kobe was caught cheating on his wife.
Gilbert Arenas will miss at least the first two regular-season games for the Washington Wizards with a strained tendon in his right ankle.
When he's healthy, however, Arenas promises to come back with "guns a-blazing."
The NCAA said Wednesday the graduation success rate for Football Bowl Subdivision players who entered college in 2003 rose to 69 percent, a three percent increase since the release of last year's report.
So a hearty congratulations to all those hard working teachers who fixed grades for student athletes in the last seven years.
Oklahoma State star wide receiver Justin Blackmon was arrested early Tuesday on a suburban Dallas highway on a misdemeanor DUI complaint and his status with the Cowboys was unclear headed into the final weeks of the season.
After seeing the headline "Blackmon arrested", a confused Al Sharpton started protesting Dallas.
That's all for this week, leave comments, follow me on Twitter and remember this is Jarrett Carlen saying that I'm glad Lebron James can use his crushing a city's soul to sell shoes.
For more of my observations on the world of sports, as well as politics, entertainment and current events, follow me on twitter @JarrettGC.