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Updated Apr 19, 2012 - 11:46 am

Hockey 'the dirty way'...do you care?

Chicago Blackhawks' Marian Hossa (81) of Slovakia, leaves the game after taking a hit from Phoenix Coyotes' Raffi Torres (37) during the first period of Game 3 of an NHL hockey Stanley Cup first-round playoff series in Chicago, Tuesday, April 17, 2012. (AP Photo/Nam Y. Huh)

Paulie Puck prefers to keep it simple. (Is that because we're a card carrying simpleton? Uh, we refuse to dignify those questions…)

Instead, let's get a show of hands here regarding another simple question: Who's willing to play dirty? You know, as in "Hockey the Hard, err…Dirty Way."

Specifically, who's willing to withstand headlines across North America that scream "Dirty Hit" in bold print? Who's prepared to listen to irate opposing coaches proclaim that our style of play "makes me sick." Who's equipped to absorb hit ‘n run tweets from Chicago fans that paint our Coyotes as "classless" and "nasty."

Put in real simple terms - who's willing to play whatever stinkin' style it takes to advance out of the first round for the first time ever?!

Because, guess what? That line now forms behind me. I'm ready and willing. Without a doubt, my response to all of these questions happens to be a definitive and emphatic YES.

Get ‘er done. And how the Coyotes get there doesn't really matter anymore. Heck, go sign Oggie Oglethorpe for all we care. Pick up the phone and dial 1-800-NHL-GOON.

In a couple of months, we may not even own the Phoenix Coyotes. The chances are good that the Doggies will become the latest Arizona short sale. So, forgive me if I'm treating this team right now like a rental car ("Uh, did we just run over something? Hossa? Whatever, it's a rental…")

Maybe it's just me, but I'd rather be known for the occasional big hit (BIG, BIG hit) than the Big El Foldo every postseason. And we do mean every single year in the history of the Phoenix Coyotes. Hence, the time has arrived for "Hockey - Whatever Way is Necessary…"

Again, maybe it's just me since I was standing there in St. Louis when, over a dozen years ago, Coyotes head coach Jim Schoenfeld guaranteed a win in Game Seven (#Buzzer). Forget Lord Stanley, it's been "Oh Lord, not again…" ever since.

So, this year, if Coyotes players are all ready to star in one of those "I Can't Take It Anymore" movies, can you blame ‘em? (Rated R for Reviled).

In fact, if the NHL league office is trying to diagnose why the team it owns is playing with the bile of a bunch of desert dogs? Well, this team is merely playing the hand it's been dealt. Then, think of everything the Coyotes have been forced to deal with the past few years, right?

Meaning, if you believe that whatever you deal out to others will be dealt to you in return…then the rest of the NHL might be in real trouble.

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