ARIZONA CARDINALS

Can’t quite put a finger on this Rashad Johnson story

Sep 24, 2013, 9:51 PM | Updated: 9:51 pm

Are we making too big of a deal out of Rashad Johnson losing part of his middle finger during Sunday’s game?

OR NOT ENOUGH?!?

Dude lost part of his finger during Sunday’s game!

He noticed blood dripping from his glove, removed the glove, and NOT ALL OF HIS HAND CAME OUT OF THE GLOVE!

How does that even happen? Someone call John Brenkus. I need this explained.

“It’s probably the most painful injury I’ve ever had,” said Johnson.

Probably?

What? So, it’s between this and the time you lost a foot against Auburn?

The skin on the fingertips has more nerve endings than nearly any other part of the body.

Ever had a hangnail?

Ever try treating it by simply cutting off the fingertip?

Skin, bone, nail, nail bed, tendon and pulp were all severed in one convenient slice during a routine special teams tackle.

What!?!

Someone check Darren Sproles’ facemask. If it was made by Ginsu, and not Riddell, we may have our answer to this mystery.

Despite being able to give only ‘High four-and-a-halves’ for the rest of his life, Johnson seems OK with his injury and the national attention his newly-reduced digit has received. After all, he tweeted out a pic of the nub.

Johnson’s play as a safety is never going to put him in the same sentence with the great Ronnie Lott, but now the two players are forever linked. Lott famously had doctors remove a gnarled finger so he could go back on the field during a game in 1986. Johnson did not return to action Sunday, but when he does he will do so with the knowledge of the injury, which I would argue might be the more difficult aspect of the freak injury to overcome.

He saw his fingertip was missing! He felt the tip inside his glove! He realized then and there any dreams he had of hand modeling were finished! The endorphins eventually stabilized and the pain of the severed finger was being felt by Johnson throughout the remainder of the game.

At the very least, and I’m talking the very least here, the guy has earned a spot next to Lott in the next great “famous people who lost fingers” coffee table book that gets published.

And just so you know, Rashad, that puts you in fairly elite company with Jerry Garcia, Scotty from Star Trek, and Jesse James (the cool historic one, not the grease monkey who cheated on Sandra Bullock). Of course, you’ll have to lose another finger to be mentioned alongside Hall of Fame pitcher Mordecai Brown, and four more to be in the company of my high school shop teacher, but let’s not go breaking out your bandsaw just to prove a point. Let’s face it, no one likes a nine-fingered showboat.

At the end of the day, I am impressed, Johnson. Absolutely bewildered. But undoubtedly impressed.

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Can’t quite put a finger on this Rashad Johnson story