Trail Blazers rookie is afraid of historic statues
Heights. Spiders. Death. Cardinals quarterbacks.
But one thing most are not afraid of is statues, specifically of the historic variety.
However, Portland Trail Blazers rookie Damian Lillard is very much afraid of anything that resembles someone historic, whether it be of the wax variety or any other make.
According to an interview he did with USA Today, Lillard explained he does not know the exact moment when his automatonophobia occurred, though he says he noticed an uneasy feeling a couple years ago during a visit to a wax museum before his senior year at Weber State.
"The last room was Barack Obama, Oprah Winfrey, Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, George Washington, Abraham Lincoln — all these big-time historic people, and it looked just like them. Same size," he said. "They had music playing in the room to set the mood, and it just threw me off."
"Ever since then I've done. Even at Lake Oswego (near Portland), I drive past the cemetery, and there's a statue of Jesus with his hands up. That even scared me. I don't mess with statues no more.
"It's the idea that they're from so far back, and so big in our history. Just to see something that looks so close to them, it's weird. It freaks me out."
We don't blame the guy, seeing how wax museums are incredibly freaky. But still.
Lillard, who was in Washington D.C. to play the Wizards Wednesday night, said driving through the city and seeing all the monuments "was crazy. All I could think of was Abraham Lincoln getting killed."
We're not one to make fun of someone for their illness, and we don't plan on starting now. That said, the best advice we can give the young man comes straight from The Simpsons, who once sang a song about not looking.